It’s okay to not have it all solid
Our lives are essentially a series of blocks, each one laid carefully—or sometimes haphazardly—to create the foundation of who we are. From the moment we first grasp a crayon to the moment we navigate a major life transition, we are in a constant state of construction.
Think back to the “curriculum” of your life:
- The Early Years: We start with the basics—learning our colors and the fundamental magic of forming words.
- The Middle Years: We cement our foundation with facts and a broader understanding of the history that came before us.
- The Formative Years: We learn how to be independent thinkers and start taking true ownership of our daily lives.
- The Adult Years: We finally graduate to the ultimate lesson—learning that life is meant to have a deep, intentional purpose.
The Natural Progression vs. The Intentional Path
As we move through these stages, we are constantly laying bricks. Some of us follow a traditional progression, while others carve out a unique path. Neither is inherently “wrong,” but the integrity of that foundation depends entirely on how those bricks are set. Are you laying them with a level and a plan, or are you just tossing them into a pile and hoping they hold?
My Own Foundation: A Series of Re-adjustments
I know firsthand that a foundation isn’t something you build once and forget. It is a living structure. I’ve had to step back and re-cement my own bricks more than once when I realized the “house” I was living in no longer fit the woman I was becoming.
At 19, I moved out of my childhood home. It wasn’t because I wasn’t wanted, but because I realized I needed to find my own “groove” away from the noise of the world around me. That was my first lesson in Independence.
Later, at 40, I welcomed my daughter into the world. Just a year and a half later, I faced a heartbreaking choice: I had to leave my marriage because I knew I couldn’t raise her in that environment. That was a moment of Ownership and Protection. I had to pull a heavy brick out and replace it with one made of pure courage.
Since then, the work has continued. I left a stable career in corporate insurance to launch my coaching practice. During that time, I found my soulmate and built a life of shared vision. Most recently, we moved our entire life to a brand-new state. Each of these moments required me to be brave enough to say “yes” to re-cementing a brick so my foundation remained straight and solid.
The truth is, we don’t always lay our bricks perfectly the first time. And that is okay. Sometimes we lay a brick out of fear, sometimes out of exhaustion, and sometimes because we simply didn’t know any better at the time. A foundation isn’t a one-and-done project; it’s a lifelong practice of noticing when something feels ‘off’ and having the grace to adjust. A shaky brick doesn’t mean the house is falling down—it just means it’s time to pick up the trowel and try again.”
Two Ways to Build
The House of Integrity: When you move along a path of purpose, your foundation grows straight. This is a life built with intention. It doesn’t mean your life is perfect; you will face “weathering.” But because the underlying structure is solid, the mistakes don’t topple the building. It is your compass.
The House of Circumstance: A foundation becomes weak when we live by circumstance—placing bricks out of sheer necessity or survival. When you are just trying to get through the next event, your structure isn’t built for the long haul. You’re simply trying to keep the roof from caving in.
“Live your life with purpose, not driven by circumstances.” #nugget
How to Re-Adjust Your Bricks
If you feel like your current “house” is shaking, it is never too late to renovate. You don’t have to tear the whole thing down to find stability.
Step back and re-evaluate. Look at the bricks that feel “loose”—perhaps a routine that lacks meaning or a path you took because you felt you had to—and begin to re-adjust them. Life is filled with changing opportunities; you just need to be brave enough to say “yes” to the work.
You deserve a solid house.
Ready to Build? If you are ready to stop living by necessity and start living with purpose, let’s connect. I’m here to help you steady the structure and design a life you love.
Email me at pam@powerful-purpose.com to schedule a 30-minute, no-obligation call.
